4.6.10

My Uber Long Post of A Check up

Lately my life has been full of surprises, some good, some okay, and some a mixture of emotions.
It just so turns out Will, aka ex-boyfriend and the one that was threatened to be killed, actually still liked me. Which means the break up we had had was kind of for nothing. I discovered this after giving him a note I'd written him before I found out he wasn't actually going to die... because the fight was called off. I gave it to him anyway. I felt obliged to...
Will land I continued to pass notes, which, obviously, didn't go over so well with the overprotective girlfriend of his, Amberleigh. [[here forth referred to as AJ]] You see, AJ is overly obsessed with Will and it's quite obnoxious. She's been obsessed with him since he moved here the winter of 2008. They've gone out multiple times, starting the summer after he moved here. They went out twice. He was then in a relationship with moi until The start of January.
The story behind that is a rather sad one. AJ, always obsessed, lied to me about him liking someone else. I broke up with him and AJ had him for herself. She still hasn't apologized for that, and I actually don't want her to. I know she's not sorry. Why would she be? It meant she got another chance with him. The following months, they went in and out of relationships left and right. I didn't keep up. I had no desire to. I was focused more on keeping my grades decent than trying to keep up with their dramatic lifestyles.
AJ discovered she was moving, and Will, wanting to make her happy before she moved, agreed to go back out with her, breaking up with my cousin, which he'd gone out with before, to do so.
So now your caught up to what I was speaking of before.
Although I wanted it to be nothing, it wasn't, now that I look at it. AJ was paranoid about the whole thing, starting the first day-a Monday. Throughout the week we passed each other notes, AJ got more upset, Will grew apart from AJ, who was desperately clinging on, and I fell more in love. I tried not to make it sound like I wanted him to be with me, but it was hard. I wanted him to be happy. He wasn't happy with AJ. But even when it was apparent Will didn't feel the same, AJ was overly joyed when she was 'with' Will. I didn't want to hurt her. I'd been mad at her before and I know she's been mad at me. We've been in and out of friendships, so I didn't want her to leave in a bad tone.
Either way, i couldn't change Will's decision.
Wednesday of that same week, AJ confronted me at my locker, after I wrote her a lovely note including the words 'You have nothing to worry about. [[between me and will]] Will doesn't cheat. If you don't know that, you don't know him.' Obviously she was a little upset about my slightly harsh words. She old me it wasn't him she was worried about. It was me. She was worried I was taking him. At the time, I didn't think I was. For Will had told me moments ago that he was going to break up with AJ when she moved. I told her she had nothing to worry about.
I see now that she did.
The next day Will told me in writing that he was going to break up with AJ. I was overwhelmed with fear and anxiety. I had the feeling she was going to push it onto me, make me seem like the culprit. Her the victim. I wanting to tell him not to. To wait till she did move, but the small part of me that was glad about his choice, held me back. I let him.
We were together the next day and I discovered Will was moving too. At the end of the school year. He promised me this time it was for real. I didn't doubt him. His parents had threatened to move multiple times, but never really did. I guessed they really would this time.
Although I was blind at the time, I see now why Will broke up with Aj sooner than planned.
He wanted to be with me before he left. And AJ was moving after he was.
We lasted two weeks. Till the end of school. It ended two days before exams started.
I was shaken up about it at first, but I've calmed down now. Two days was it for my sadness and then it was gone. It's hard to say. Is it okay for me to mourn for such a short time?  I even like someone else, now. I've liked him for about a year. He was on my soccer team last season, and this season. It ended [[the season]] last Saturday, so I'll only get to see him one more time before next year. He might not even be on my team next year. He goes to a different school. Its kind of sad. I don't know if he likes me or not but everyday, at 11:11, in the morning and at night, I wish I knew. I wish I could tell him. Maybe when June 10th comes around, the day of the end of the year party, aka possibly the last time I see him, maybe a miracle will happen.

It is actually a relief for me that AJ moved. It subtracts a lot of drama from my life.  And the fact that Will not only moved, but moved in the opposite direction, relieves even more drama.

2 comments:

  1. Hehe
    Cousin(:
    I wish I'd read this before... I didn't know you liked him so much... I kinda wish he would've never came to Florence... None of us would be hurt... I wouldn't have moved (yeahh I moved because of him) And everything would be so much better...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes. Everything would've been a lot easier.

    ReplyDelete

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