12.1.11

That's Why Fireflies Flash II

As the end of the year continued, I found more and more information, but the majority came to me on the very last day of the year.
I found out all my information from two people that talked to both me and Cheyenne, though Cheyenne has no idea. She had admitted to one of them that she did in fact like Maroon. When this information was passed onto me, I found it no surprise.
But it was when I found out the entire story that I realized I had been bluntly lied to.
Maroon called Cheyenne the day her and Silver started going out.
Okay, no big deal.
He then called her everyday of the break. Eventually, he told her that he thought he was falling in love with her.
He hardly talked to me or attempted to get ahold of me during the break except for the day he broke up with me. I called him multiple times while I was in Disney. Most of the time it went to voicemail. I left my messages, but I never heard back.
So I guess you can honestly say that he was pretty much avoiding me.
Cheyenne said she wasn't sure if she liked him and that she would have to hang out with him. They did hang out after the 27th, but I don't know how that went.
I did end up talking to Cheyenne. I  hadn't talked to her in forever because, you can guess, I just didn't like her. But I  wanted to talk to her. And although it was a shock to everyone and a disappointment to some, I was going to be nice.
So I pretty much lied to her face when I said:

"In no way do I want you to get upset or mad. I just want to say this. And in no way am I trying to be mean because I don't want to be.
I'm never going to tell you who to date. I've never done that to anyone and I don't plan on it.
I'm not mad anymore. Hurt, yes, but that's no surprise. The guy I loved lied to me and is supposedly now in love with you. He was okay with lying and decieving me after everything we went through. He can lie a deceive anyone he wants to. In no way do I want to be mean or to tell you what to do, but he can do it to you, too just as easily.
I'm trying to be okay with this whole thing, but it is hard. When you love someone, seeing them with anyone else hurts and I am just asking you to understand and respect that. I'm not telling you not to date him. If you want to, fine. Obvioously he likes you enough to lie to me to get to you; I'm just asking you to try to understand what this is on my side."
Asking her to understand that is like asking a brick to turn itself to sand. It can't do it on its own, but with time and some pounding on, it could happen.
We had a short conversation that included me continuing to lie and her saying that whatever we've been through in the past is behind us. Let's just forget about it. I understand. You can talk to me. blahblahblah.fuckmylife.
So she thinks that we're cool now. But we aren't. I still dislike her. I dislike how much she compares to Amberleigh. I love Amberleigh to death, but Cheyenne, gah! She has no good traits!
In our conversation, the fact that Maroon had told me he loved me came up. She questioned this, saying hat Maroon hadn't told her he told me he loved me (when we were dating). I sent her a screen shot of a text that he had sent me saying he loved me-one of the many times he had.
HA! HE'S ALREADY LIED TO YOU, BITCH!

hm..
my apologies.

So, Cheyenne was forbidden by her parents to date him because he had lied to her. Upon her telling Maroon this and that she was going to try to convince them to let her date him, Maroon said he didn't care.
Schadenfreude!


As of two days ago, I hadn't talked to Maroon at all. He randomly greeted me through text message and it ended up a little something like this:

M(him): Hey
A(me): Hey?
M: Why the question mark?
A: You haven't talked to me since you broke up with me. I was slightly surprised at the random greeting.
M: Sorry I've been really stressed out and sick
A: Sure         (like that gave him an excuse not to talk to me!)
M: Ok well I guess you dont wanna talk  I'll leave you alone
A: You can't just randomly text me and leave like that. I was simply saying. What was I supposed to say? That I'm sorry?
M: Sorry for what?
A: That you were sick and stressed.
M: Thanks       (Did I ever apologize? no...?)
A: I'm confused now. Of well. Anyway.
M: Anyway I'm sick and I just wanted to say hello but I'm going to sleep
A: Well hello and I hope you feel better and I guess goodnight.

I know what I am doing. What though, I won't say.
But anyways, what has come out of this?
From the words of a dear friend:

"In our relationship, I was the brains and he was the asshole and that if he walked in front of me on a crosswalk, I would speed up and run him over and that I pray he chokes on a happy meal because if not, Adrienne is going to shove a yellow crayon down his throat."
italics=lie


Beautiful things never last.
That's why fireflies flash.

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